


I Got A Lump In My Throat 'Cause You're Gonna Sing the Words Wrong

by RPGCATZ



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5 Times Stiles did things a human cant but a god can, Also known as, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Cutting, Drowning, Immortal Stiles Stilinski, Jumping off buildings, Kind of Dark Stiles, Like, M/M, Protective Scott, Scott doesn't act like he cares but he really does, Scott is a Good Friend, Self-Harm, Smoking, Stiles Stilinski is a God, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, cigarette burns, controlling time, like more than anyone else, running in front of speeding cars, voluntarily drinking poison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-11-13 22:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RPGCATZ/pseuds/RPGCATZ
Summary: Or, The Five times Stiles did things that made the pack worry for the young God's safety. (Scott on the other hand, doesn't really look like he seems to mind.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: Riptide by Vance Joy  
> TW: this story involves Stiles being very risky and doing some things that are suicidal while people are around him. If the idea of one attempting suicide even though they are immortal and can not die does or can cause you harm, please leave now as the story below does involve these things. The last thing I would want is for any of you to get hurt while reading one of my stories.

_"All my friends are turning green,_

_You're the magician's assistant in their dream."_

  

 1

The first time Stiles did something god like around the pack, oddly enough, was by accident. Or at least it _"wasn't **fully** purposeful"  _ as Stiles had exclaimed later that night to a distraught pack and a slightly worried, kind of agitated but mainly tranquil Scott McCall. To make matters worse, the pack had already been worried about the new baddie in town who _just so happened_ to use poison. Which was just _great_ in Scott's opinion simply because he knew Stiles would do something stupid to show the pack that he was immortal. And Stiles? Stiles never failed to be so predictable when it came to his powers. So Scott was honestly not that disturbed when Stiles had voluntarily chugged, _fucking **chugged**_ , half a bottle of the liquid they pack was going to send to Deaton, then calmly stated "Yeah, this is definitely poison."

The pack, on the other hand, had freaked the fuck out. They had all feared that they would lose their precious human pack mate, which " _just would **not** end well for the pack, were I able to die_ " as Stiles had stated once before. In total, it took around twenty minutes, a panicked call to Ms. McCall, Lydia screaming at Scott for " _acting like you don't care about the fact that Stiles might be dying_!" and a true alpha howling before anyone noticed that Stiles was laughing his ass off on the couch in Derek's loft.

The laughing was met with many confused and worried stares and a slightly agitated glare from Scott. Scott then turned to the pack and noticed that a select few were actually cowering while the laugh continued on. Of course, by the time that Scott turned back to face Stiles and glare at him a bit more, Stiles was full on crying and gasping into the leather of the couch.

"You- you should have seen your faces!" Stiles yelled while he fell off the couch and landed on the floor behind the living room's table. 

Scott simply looked at the pack and sighed, a quick "I'm.. yeah." fell from his lips as he then turned to pick up the crying and gasping form on the floor. 

"Stiles c'mon. Let's go." 

As Scott practically carried Stiles out the door of the loft, Scott knew he was getting stuck with explaining to the pack what the hell Stiles even was and he knew he wasn't going to enjoy doing it. He knew because Stiles had made sure to tell Scott so right before he passed out on Scott's bed.

Scott sat at the edge of the bed silently, staring at the slowly breathing body on top of the sheets. 

He wouldn't tell Stiles that he had ended up crying out of fear later that night. Scott figured it was unnecessary to ruin how happy Stiles seemed when he woke up.

So he stayed quiet about it, like he always does.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"Lady, running down to the Riptide,_

_taken away to the dark side._

_I wanna be your left hand man."_

  

2

The next time it happened was on a surprisingly rainy day. The clouds were bundled and dark in the sky and shook when lightning or thunder fell from them. Cold air brushed past the two boys as they walked from the dark forest that concealed the old Hale house. The day had started off quite sunny, which made both Scott and Derek question why Stiles had brought a dark, galaxy designed umbrella with him. Stiles in response had simply shrugged and popped the umbrella open to rest on his shoulder, blocking the sun from reaching him. As the sky got darker and cloudier as time passed, Stiles kept a dangerous grin on his lips, his eyes practically glowing with mischief underneath the shadow his umbrella cast. 

When the rain had started, both Derek and Scott had gotten soaked while Stiles' smile had stretched across his face. When Derek had passed the god while walk-running to the cover of the hale house he had stated with a glare to the god "You knew this was gonna happen,didn't you?"

Stiles, being the little shit he was, feigned innocence with an ever growing smile. "What? How could I know what the weather was going to be? I'm a trickster god, not Zeus, Sourwolf." 

Derek simply scrunched his brow and stalked off into the house to find a towel or whatever he had stored inside the maze of the old Hale house.

Of course, that left nothing for Scott or Stiles to do but to go home. 

So they did. Or at least they started to. It wasn't until halfway through the walk home that they had come across a small road that led into the preserve and then proceeded to lead out into the next town. On sunny days, the road was usually never taken by anyone meaning that you could cross anytime without worrying about being hit. But on rainy days, it was the exact opposite. On rainy days, traffic seemed to back up and build due to idiots who thought they could speed on the highway in the rain and not crash. On the other hand, people who knew of the shortcut knew that you could speed down it as fast as you wanted or needed to get to your destination, which caused a lot of problems for those crossing the street on a daily basis.

And Scott knew from the moment he smelt the stench of the wet gravel and mud and heard the crunch of cars speeding down the path, he knew that Stiles was going to do something risky. 

He could feel it under his own skin, the sudden need Stiles felt to run head first into danger knowing he wouldn't get hurt. 

"Stiles.."

The god handed Scott the galaxy umbrella and kept walking towards the path. The sound of tires on wet gravel was getting closer.

" _Stiles...._ " 

Scott reached for the gods arm when they were right upon the path. Scott could hear a car approaching and he could smell the rush of adrenalin that Stiles was having. 

He reached. 

He _reached_ and he _almost_  grabbed the god in time, _almost_  pulled him back, he  _almost_ saved Stiles. But he didn't.

Scott watched in horror as his friend, his family, his _everything_ , ran out in front of the speeding car. 

Scott squeezed his eyes shut, not ready to see the roadkill-esk carcass of his everything. He wasn't ready. He _wasn't **fucking** ready_. 

And then he heard laughter. 

Scott opened his eyes with hesitation, letting the tears that had formed there fall down his cheeks. He stared at the gravel road. There was no blood, no swerve marks to indicate the driver had attempted to save Stiles' life as well. There was nothing but a small amount of gravel that had been displaced when Stiles had run out into the path. Scott wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve, his eyes slowly trailing up to the other side of path. 

For a moment, there was a small explosion of purple, blue, and gold on the other side of the path, and then there was Stiles. Alive and breathing, on the other side of the path. 

When Scott finally gets a hold of himself, he walks shakily to the other side with the umbrella held tightly in his palms.

"S-Stiles?"

"Yeah Scotty?"

"What... what the _actual_ **_fuck_** did you just do?"

"Oh. Yeah, figured you'd ask that.." The god paused and looked at the umbrella is Scott's clenched fists, "Well, It was just a bit of time manipulation Scotty. Nothing too hard for the fabric of time and fate to handle but just a little nudge to make sure I stayed in my vessel and didn't get sent back to the astral plane for all eternity, ya know? Nothing too big."

Scott stared at the God before him. He took careful notice of the gentle shimmer in his hair and the calm explosion of light that now resided behind his amber eyes.

"Stiles."

"Mmhm?"

"I hate you... _so_ , _fucking_ , _much_.."

"Yeah, yeah I'm sorry.."

Scott shot an angry glare at the god and shoved the umbrella open.

"No you're not you ass."

The werewolf lifted the opened umbrella onto his left shoulder and kept glaring at the god. His brow was squeezed in such a way that he looked a bit like Derek without the scratchy beard surrounding the lower part of his face. It almost made Stiles laugh if he had to be fairly honest.  _He did laugh about it later that night, who was he kidding?  
_

The god thought for a moment before a cheshire grin exploded across his face, "Yeah, you're right. I'm not." Turning away from the gravel street, the god linked his arm with the werewolf's and proceeded to pull Scott away from the path and away from his state of anger and annoyance. 

" _You still love me though_."

And yeah, Scott had to admit. 

He did still love the god. Even if he was an asshole when it came to others' feelings about his safety,

Scott did still love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space umbrella reference: https://76.my/Malaysia/reverse-inverted-umbrella-rain-double-layer-reverse-umbrella-galaxy-elsaoon-1704-10-elsaoon@14.jpg  
> Zeus: the King of the Gods and the ruler of the heavens. He was the god of clouds, rain, thunder and lightning.
> 
> holy fuck this one took forever to finish bc i had to rewrite it like 5 times bc i wasn't happy with the final product until this one!!!!!  
> But still, really sorry on the long delay to this one!!  
> I'll try to get the next story out as soon as i can!!  
> Until then,  
> Goodbye loves!~


	3. Chapter 3

 

_____________________________

"This cowboy's running from himself.

And she's been living on the highest shelf."

_____________________________

3

Sometimes Stiles took it too far. Sometimes he did things that left him with a few slowly healing broken bones, a bloody nose, and the intense urge to light a cigarette and yell at the top of his lungs on the hood of Roscoe. 

Scott always tagged along when he got the text that it was a _sometimes_ kind of day.

Which was why he was asleep on the hood of Roscoe with Stiles at his side. 

Scott woke to the russling noise that emitted from the God next to him as he tried to get comfortable on the metal hood. Scott imagined it was hard to move when he had a cigarette in between his fingers and a couple of still healing bones. The werewolf turned his head to the noise, eyes still closed and whisperd gently. "Stay still Mimi." 

He opened an eye at the sudden kick to the shin he received from the God. 

Scott smirked, a giggle bubbled through his chest. "Shut your stupid face, wolf ass." 

"Nice kick dude."

"..Thanks." 

Scott watched the smoke trail from Stiles' light pink lips. His eyes were dull and slightly glazed over. He had bags under them that were dark purple against his pale skin. His moles were like little holes or pockets of deep space sewed into his body. They were so cute to Scott. 

Scott felt fingers brush his own and quickly intertwined them. The chill of Stiles skin almost made Scott shiver. Scott took note of the bloody scrapes on the God's hand and took care to avoid them so as not to harm him.

"..m' srri."

"What did you say?"

Scott looked back up to the God and waited for a clearer answer.

"You were muffled. What did you say?" 

 Stiles didn't say anything in response. So Scott stared at him for a moment. Taking in the chipped black nail polish on the God's nails. The deep round burns on his skin that were already starting to heal. The ripped black leggings and dirty high waisted shorts that pulled out the bony structure underneath it. The stained shirt that had twice the amount of blood on it as it had dirt. The blood caking Stiles skin. Now dry and cracked, often flaking when Stiles moved. The way his eyes glazed over slightly and looked more grey with every drag of smoke inhaled into his lungs. 

His glazed over eyes reflected the night sky. Each star dazzling on the suface but never once dipping into the deep abyss that was the God's eyes. They reminded Scott of why they were here. Of why Stiles had more blood on his outsides than his insides. 

But Scott didn't want to remember the way Stiles' body laid on the ground. Didn't want to remember the way blood poured out of the opening in Stiles' head. The blood on nearly every inch of the boy's body. The way Stiles' limbs bent and curved at impossible angles. Blood seeping from each bend in the limbs. The way his mouth wasn't in a smile. The way his clothes were ripped and torn and showed more skin than they had originally. The way Lydia screamed in horror when she laid eyes on their friend's body. The taste in his mouth that had lingered when he vomited after making eye contact with the body. Because.. _god_. _Stiles' fucking eyes.. they were so glazed and void of anything but_... _**fear**_.. And for a minute.. Scott was _horrified_ that Stiles..could have been.. 

And then Scott was being pulled into a tight embrace. He felt words being whispered into his hair and he felt tears leaking from his eyes. 

He felt Stiles say something in a shaky voice. And he said it again. And again. And again. Around the sixth time Scott finally heard what Stiles was saying. 

_He was apologizing.._

Scott quietly wrapped his arms around Stiles' waist and rested his head on the God's chest. Stiles' heart beat thumped against his chest. Scott counted a few of the beats..and only one word rang through his head with each of them.. _alive_. _alive.alive.alive. **alive**._

Stiles was _alive_.

Scott took a breath before tightening his grip on the God's waist. 

"It's okay.. I forgive you.."

And he did. Scott always did. How could he not?

You always eventually forgive the ones you love. _Always_.

When Stiles finally calmed, Scott kept repeating the words he spoke. Over and over. Running his hand along Stiles' back, Scott realized that the pack would be mad when they found out they were out here. Scott relaid this back to Stiles, who in a sleepy voice with closed eyes and a quiet voice responded "fuck 'em. I'm a god I can..do..what I want.." and with that, dozed off. 

Scott laughed gently, and thought for a moment. Then with his mind made up, responded back to the God. 

"Yeah.. _fuck 'em_. "

And dozed off too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's probably really hard to fall asleep on the hood of a car out in the middle of the woods but like. It's a story and I write it on my phone so fuck it-  
> And yea-  
> Terribly sorry about how long this one took- school was in the way and my laptop decided to wreck itself today so it's unusable at the moment and itll probably be a while before it gets fixed so all of my stories will probably be really short or have a lot of typos/mess ups.  
> Also if you couldn't tell, this one is for the jumping off buildings Tag. But it's more of the aftermath. This ones also more angst than it is fluff or humor so sorry about that- 
> 
> Anyways,  
> I hope you're all safe out there!!! And I hope you all are okay!!!  
> Please be safe loves!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

_____________________________

"I just gotta, I just gotta know.

If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay."

_____________________________

4

If the residents of Becon Hills thought back far enough, they still  probably wouldn't remember a small child covered in moles running around town. They wouldn't remember that the child had hated being a girl. They wouldnt remember the way that child shaved their hair almost every week. They wouldn't remember that that child had grown into a teen with hatred in his eyes and blood on his hands. They wouldn't remember that all that hate the boy harbored had been directed at the boy himself. They wouldn't remember because they had never known Stiles Stilinski before he escaped death's grasp on the seventeenth of April. 

Only a select few knew about the boy, and even then they sometimes forgot him. 

Scott knew that. He had known Stiles all his life, he had to know it. 

So when Scott McCall looked into his past, he saw the girl he used to play with in the sandbox at recess. He saw the way the girl shaved her head and insisted that she was a boy now. Scott saw the way that boy fought back against the people who told him he would never be a boy. He saw every tear, every scream, every flare of rage the boy had. He saw the life leave his friend's eyes as he watched his mother die. He saw every little detail of their past, and he cherished it. Because in those years  that boy had not been immortal. He had the ability to die then. Every little thing was a threat to him. 

Which made it so hard for Scott to look back to those days.

It seemed as though the male constantly had a death wish under all the self hate and anxiety he held. With the death of his mother and the sudden absence of his father, Scott realized it had only been a matter of time back then. His absent father wasn't the only cause though. There were days where the constant words of " _you'll never be a boy._ ", " _pervert, you only want to get into the boys' bathroom to stare!_ " and the avalanche of dysphoria that constantly hung itself over Stiles' head were too much. On those days Scott's words of reassurance to Stiles that he _was_ a real boy didn't work as they would on any other. 

So really, the small, barely there cuts into Stiles' thigh should have set Scott off. But it hadn't. Not at first at least. 

Scott was always quite good at pushing away feelings. But the feelings of dread and fear for the boy were persistent. 

It only got worse though. It took about three months of the cutting to finally convince Scott that _yes_ this was a problem. So Scott started to make hints that he knew. Whispering "please don't cut too deep, Mimi." as Stiles slipped away from from his mattress to the bathroom to continue his nightly routine. Always leaving medical supplies that Scott knew Stiles would need on his bed. Scott was trying to help in the only way he could..

Which made the day Stiles finally _did_ cut too deep so much worse.

 

It was a week after the current baddie had been defeated and Scott was busy trying to help Derek with his plans on moving and he hadn't checked in with Stiles that day.

He hadn't checked in with Stiles.

And Stiles finally hit his limit.  

..

Everyone was shocked when they rolled Stiles' body out of his own house, deep cuts into his wrists and legs. But it was disturbing because he looked.. almost happy. 

Scott could still remember the way Lydia had almost hit Stiles' body when she saw it at the funeral. Tears in her eyes and chapped lips made her look like a stranger to Scott..

At first Lydia was sad, and then she was mad at how Stiles had never even asked or looked for help.

And Scott blamed himself at that..

He kept blaming himself for a month after Stiles' suicide. The constant thought that he could have done something, anything was always present. Which meant that it was also present when Stiles snuck into his window covered in dirt and mud and raindrops from his jog run over to Scott's house.

Stiles hadn't even knocked before he unlocked the window and plopped down onto Scott's bed. 

Scott was honestly scared shitless when he saw the male. And then he was crying because holy shit Stiles was alive.

Stiles wrapped Scott in a hug, forcing the dirt and grime on his body to transfer to the wolf. 

"H-How are you alive? We saw your body, everyone in town saw you get lowered into you own grave!" Scott was practically yelling at the male now. 

Stiles simply held him and shushed him and told him that he was okay..

And it took about a hour of constant asking and pushing for Stiles to tell him the full story. 

When Stiles was younger , Stiles had been hanging from a tree in his backyard when he had slipped and fallen off the tree, sending him plummeting down to the ground below. He had been dead.  His neck had been cracked in half. He saw his own lifeless body from an outside view and it terrified him. But then suddenly he wasn't. Suddenly someone was pushing him back into his body and that someone was telling him that he owed them. So Stiles asked them what they meant, and they told him that they were giving him a second chance and that he shouldn't waste it and pushed him back fully into his body. 

Stiles then explained that with another chance at life came consequences of sorts. Stiles said that he was suddenly drawn to his own death. That the world around him was pointless to him and that he wanted to die again. The effortless floating in that plain had caught his attention and god did he enjoy it. So he finally convinced himself to commit suicide. And it worked. 

He had been slowly floating away from his body when that someone had started pushing him closer to it. Stiles explained that he struggled to get away, that he wanted to feel that high he had felt the first time but he wanted to feel it longer. He needed to. But that someone was stronger than him, and continued to push him back to his body. 

Stiles told Scott that the someone had sounded quite annoyed when they asked him what would keep him in his body. 

Stiles had almost immediately responded with begging to feel the high the place gave him over and over again. The someone held him for a minute and then gave him an offer. 

If Stiles stopped trying to leave his body, than they would give him a power that would help him feel the high constantly without the need to die. 

Stiles said that he immediately accepted. 

And the someone squeezed him for a second and then pushed him back into his body, or at least tried to. 

You see, when a god tries to push a power into a human, it takes a while. So pushing said human into their body while the power is still draining to them can latch the god or goddess onto them. Meaning that the god or goddess get sucked into the body with the soul meaning that the body becomes a host for both the god and the soul. And unluckily for Stiles and the god, the god tried to put him back in too soon.

"And now I'm kind of a god." Stiles finished. 

Scott stared at him with shock in his eyes and his mouth slightly parted.

"A god?" 

"Yep."

Scott blinked and closed his mouth.

"I.. I honestly don't think I'm really upset by this." 

Stiles laughed.

"Well good for you I suppose because I think I might have to secretly live in your house for a bit before I tell everyone I'm alive now." 

Scott blinked at the god. 

"Why?"

Stiles gave Scott a glare.

"Scotty, how would you feel if your friend or son came back from being dead for like a month before just randomly showing up at your door and saying 'hey guess what? I'm immortal and a god now!' Like honestly Scott I know being a werewolf sometimes messes you up but I thought you were smarter than than."

Scott can't help but laugh at the insult for a second. 

"Yeah I guess that makes sense." 

Stiles smiles at the wolf and then starts to ramble about something that Scott easily tuned out.  This was okay, Stiles was okay. And yeah  Scott could admit that the new feature did scare him a bit but that was okay. 

He knew Stiles wouldn't use the powers for something stupid..

 

Or at least,

he hoped Stiles wouldn't. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know he uses it for stupid stuff. Also, last chapter is next??? And I'm really happy!! Bc that means I can do the thing that I've been wanting to do since I made this story, create a series! Of course I'll only do it if you guys want to see more of God Stiles and his companion Scott "constantly-worried-about-my-friend-oh-god-Stiles-pls-stop-killing-urself" McCall. So yeah, feedback is very much welcomed loves!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh I actually really enjoyed making this one mainly because its kind of silly and pointless but also not really?? idk-  
> But,  
> As Always,  
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated loves!~


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